Recovery Reflections

Hi Everyone:

Thanks for supporting and reading my blog.  I wanted to let you all know that my blog has a new home.  I really hope you will check it out each week to gain support and insight on your own recovery path. 

My blog (called Recovery Reflections) can now be found on the Walden Behavioral care website, under Walden Blog on the upper right hand corner.  (www.waldenbehavioralcare.com)  I hope you enjoy it and find strength through it. 

As always keep a copy of my book, Telling Ed No! close by to help you on your journey. 

Find my new blog here: 

http://www.waldenbehavioralcare.com/welcome/

With health, hope and strength,

Cheryl

Flexibility and Change

For me (and I’m sure some of you as well), living my life with Ed in it, I found myself following a pattern, rituals and getting into rigid schedules.  I was not flexible in the least.  If these things were thrown off kilter, I went into a rage and was hard on myself and those around me.  I felt I lost control and was very upset.  My world felt shattered.  ---That was then.

Recovery gives you the ability to be flexible in life, while staying true to who you are.  Recovery helps you see that it’s ok if something has to change.  Change means growth.  Having a calm presence while things need to be adjusted is a welcome change from how life used to be.  It’s refreshing.

As you move along in your journey, understand it’s ok if you need to adjust and be flexible.  Take it on with a positive attitude and healthy energy.  If your meal plan is adjusted, if your appointment time gets changed, if dinner is eaten at a slightly different time…it’s all ok.  Take a deep breath when the change happens, say some positive affirmations and self talk, journal and embrace it.  You have the strength to deal with anything that comes your way. 

Change and flexibility can be your friend and growth happens when change occurs.  Look for the growth with an open heart and mind.  Be your true, healthy self and toss away the need for the rigid schedule and other characteristics that Ed put on you.  Be free in all aspects of your life.  You can do it.

With health and hope,

Cheryl

Kindness

I was coming out of the grocery store the other day and was pushing my carriage across the parking lot.  The sun was shining in my face which caused me to sneeze.  As I sneezed, a woman and her husband were walking passed me and the woman said “God Bless You”.  I smiled and said thank you very much.  She was being very kind.

This woman’s kindness got me thinking that not only should we be kind to others, we need to be kind to ourselves.  When we are with Ed, being kind to ourselves is hard to do as guilt and shame usually come into play but it doesn’t have to be that way.  We deserve to be kind to ourselves…we are worth it.

Look within and don’t beat yourself up.  Be kind to your authentic self and show yourself some love.  Being kind to yourself will strengthen your self-love which will strengthen your recovery and lessens Ed’s grip on you.  It was hard for me at first to be kind to myself but with time and practice it got easier.  Now, I treat myself with kindness every day…..and you can to!!! 

If you are having a hard day, be kind to yourself and take a bubble bath, meditate for 5 minutes, go to a yoga class, recite some affirmations to yourself in the mirror, read a book, hug your significant other, parent or stuffed animal, take a nap, etc.  Being kind to our self takes practice but it is a necessity to our recovery and living a healthy balanced life. 

So, be kind to yourself and not to Ed.  You deserve it and he doesn’t.  It may be difficult at first and feel like you are doing something wrong but rest assured, you are doing everything right.  Look within, don’t beat yourself up, give yourself a Hug and show yourself kindness.  You deserve it and you are worth it. 

With health and hope,

Cheryl

A Positive Thought

What’s the first thing you say to yourself when you wake up in the morning?  Is it something Ed says?  Is it something negative you say to yourself?  Is it a doubt you have or a fear?  Our attitude and thoughts we choose when we first wake up can determine how the rest of our day will play out.  Rather than having that thought be negative, make it positive.

When you wake up to begin your day, start it off on a positive note and say a positive affirmation about yourself and your day and/or recovery.  You can say things like “I believe in myself and my recovery” “I am strong”  “I will do this”  “I will have a positive day today”  “I am good person and deserve to be happy and free”  “I love life and deserve freedom” .

A positive thought right when you open your eyes starts your day off on a positive note.  You then can carry that affirmation throughout your day for a boost.  Also to help remain positive and strong, write the affirmation down on paper so it becomes even more real.

Even though I am recovered and no longer suffer, every morning when I open my eyes and before I get out of bed, I give myself self-Reiki and say 5 positive affirmations about myself and my day.  It helps me stay strong and starts my day out on a positive note.  It really does work.  The power of positive thought is powerful.  Think it, say it and believe it!

With health and hope,

Cheryl

Feeling Good.......

Feeling good about ourselves is good for our overall health and wellbeing and for our psyche.  When we are with Ed, feeling good about ourselves rarely happens.  We are so focused on making Ed happy and doing what he says that we don’t care about us, or anyone else for that matter.  We only want to make Ed feel good about what and how we are doing when it comes to following his rules and doing what he says.

Take a stand for yourself and your recovery today by doing something that makes you feel good about yourself.  Something that puts a smile (even for a second) on your face or makes your insides jump with excitement.  (not Ed related)  Perhaps it is buying a new purse or jewelry, or going for a manicure, or getting a new haircut or volunteering for a great cause.  You will be surprised how good it feels and how you can build off of that feeling in your recovery.

Not to long ago, I did something that made me feel good.  I decided to buy new clothes for work…… dresses actually.  I also bought a rocking pair of black leather high heel boots.  I bought many dresses and skirts and did a fashion show for my friend and felt really good. I also got a manicure so my nails looked great.   I wore a new dress and the boots to work and felt really confident and feminine.  I even got compliments too.  (thanks to recovery I can do all of this and feel good about my body..…so can you)

So, do something for yourself to give yourself a lift and a new outlook on how you feel inside.  Changing our attitude and being more positive and feeling proud and good inside catapults our recovery process and makes life look brighter.  Make the commitment and do something that makes you feel good about yourself…you are worth it and you deserve it. 

With health and hope,

Cheryl